Ralph Waldo Emerson on Friendship, Conversation, and Good Company

“[Friendship] cannot subsist in its perfection, say some of those who are learned in this warm lore of the heart, betwixt more than two. … I find this law of one to one peremptory for conversation, which is the practice and consummation of friendship. … You shall have very useful and cheering discourse at several times with two several men, but let all three of you come together, and you shall not have one new and hearty word. Two may talk and one may hear, but three cannot take part in a conversation of the most sincere and searching sort. In good company there is never such discourse between two, across the table, as takes place when you leave them alone. In good company, the individuals merge their egotism into a social soul exactly co-extensive with the several consciousnesses there present. No partialities of friend to friend, no fondnesses of brother to sister, of wife to husband, are there pertinent, but quite otherwise. Only he may then speak who can sail on the common thought of the party, and not poorly limited to his own. Now this convention, which good sense demands, destroys the high freedom of great conversation, which requires an absolute running of two souls into one.

No two men but being left alone with each other enter into simpler relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which two shall converse. Unrelated men give little joy to each other; will never suspect the latent powers of each. We talk sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as if it were a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is an evanescent relation, — no more. A man is reputed to have thought and eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word to his cousin or his uncle. They accuse his silence with as much reason as they would blame the insignificance of a dial in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour. Among those who enjoy his thought, he will regain his tongue.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Friendship” (1841)

Top 40 Books I Read in 2016

40. Marcella Mariotti, La lingua giapponese, 2014

39. Film Crit Hulk, Screenwriting 101, 2013

38. Sandra Newman & Howard Mittelmark, How Not to Write a Novel, 2008

37. John Truby, The Anatomy of Story: 22 Steps to Becoming a Master Storyteller, 2007

36. Plato, Crito, 4th century BC

35. Luciano Canepari & Francesca Miscio, Japanese Pronunciation & Accents: Geo-social Applications of the Natural Phonetics & Tonetics Method, 2016

34. Bryan Lee O’Malley, Seconds, 2014

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33. Thomas Bernhard, Old Masters: A Comedy, 1985

32. Ödön von Horváth, Youth Without God, 1937

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31. John N. Gray, The Silence of Animals: On Progress and Other Modern Myths, 2013

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Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Self-Reliance” – Society Never Advances

“… All men plume themselves on the improvement of society, and no man improves.

Society never advances. It recedes as fast on one side as it gains on the other. It undergoes continual changes; it is barbarous, it is civilized, it is christianized, it is rich, it is scientific; but this change is not amelioration. For every thing that is given, something is taken. Society acquires new arts, and loses old instincts. What a contrast between the well-clad, reading, writing, thinking American, with a watch, a pencil, and a bill of exchange in his pocket, and the naked New Zealander, whose property is a club, a spear, a mat, and an undivided twentieth of a shed to sleep under! But compare the health of the two men, and you shall see that the white man has lost his aboriginal strength. If the traveller tell us truly, strike the savage with a broad axe, and in a day or two the flesh shall unite and heal as if you struck the blow into soft pitch, and the same blow shall send the white to his grave.

The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet. He is supported on crutches, but lacks so much support of muscle. Continue reading